Ridiculous On Desothpu
by pinchfield
Summary: WARNING - A bit on the ridiculous side. The Planet vs The Doctor & Rose. It's so muddy, it's ridiculous. It's so difficult, it's laughable. How hard can it be to find the TARDIS? Jungle, wet, mud, tribes, swamps and beasties. 10th Doctor and Rose.


**Ridiculous On Desothpu**

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><p>There are times in their lives and adventures that get out of hand. This was one of those times.<p>

If there was ever anything funny with this predicament someone would have laughed, whether it be some weird plant or an alien. Face it, plants could laugh in space. It was that weird in the universe.

Today though, no weird plantform laughed at her and Rose was glad because she would have pulled it up and trampled on it if it had done.

Then, if the plant had been this planet's indigenous people, she would have been in deep trouble for committing murder. It has been known to happen the Doctor had said.

The planet Desothpu was wet. It was wet up to the inhabitants eyeballs. The natives were unfriendly and tribal.

The ground was also unfriendly. It reacted to the Doctor's and Rose's feet like repelling magnets. The ground wanted them prostrate upon it and that's what it managed to get.

They'd been slipping and sliding on the mud ever since they stepped foot out of the TARDIS. Then not long after, the blue box had been washed away by a mud slide. Good bye food, shelter and everything else.

Deep in the jungle of the planet, the temporarily stranded duo trudged through the quagmire, mud pools and tangled undergrowth, their mission to find the TARDIS.

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><p>"Doctor?" Rose started to say but was delayed in asking the rest of her question because she lost her footing on the slippery bank.<p>

They were sidling along it to avoid the putrid smelling mud pool alongside.

"…I think you picked the worst way to come," she finished and peered over her shoulder.

The Doctor wasn't even listening. His face scowled and his jaw jutted forward the way it does when he was tolerating something unsavoury.

He sniffed at a flower that was dangling down from the canopy, then recoiled.

"Cor blimey," he choked out. "I've smelt some stinky flowers in my time, but that takes the biscuit." He blew his nose on a hanky. "Taking about biscuits, I could do with a rich tea and a nice big cuppa right now."

Rose carried on whilst grinning at the Doctor's antics. She was coming up to a tricky bit. The bank was becoming hardly three inches. Rose poked her tongue out in thought.

"The trick 'ere is," she muttered and reached for a branch that was hanging down, "not to make a mess out of it."

She blocked out the doctor's voice that was going on and on about something or other in the background.

She lunged a bit for the branch grabbed it with two hands and planned to swing like Tarzan over to the wider part of the bank.

Except her hands felt no grip on the branch just slippery slime and by then it was too late to abort her plan, her feet were already off the ground.

Her hands slithered right off the branch. Rose screamed in surprise and landed knees first in the cold, dark mud below with a splat.

Luckily, she managed to fling her arms out so she didn't end up landing face first.

Rose gaped in disbelief. The Doctor's incessant talking stopped abruptly. She heard him snort in laughter.

"Hallo, what are you doing down there Rose Tyler?"

"Oh har har. Har har har," Rose said, deadpan.

"Do I detect a just _hint _of sarcasm?"

"Just a bit,' Rose said tersely, "There's nothing funny about this Doc-tor."

She strained her neck so she could look up at the him. She put on her most withered and un-amused face. She was kneeling, up to her elbows in mud. She'd landed in it with a wet trumping noise. Like a school boy, that had set the Doctor off giggling.

"Shut up and get me out," Rose whined.

The Doctor stepped carefully up to the narrower part of the path and took hold of the exact same branch she had thought was safe to hold onto.

'Not that…!' Rose cried, but too late.

He bent like a banana backwards to try and keep his balance, then he toppled forward and landed face first next to her.

His hair on the back of his noggin stuck out of the mud like a little tuft of brown grass.

Rose snorting in laughter at the ridiculousness and continued to snort every time she looked at the back of his head. Seriously?

"Mmph fumph fuff."

"What? I can't hear ya," she laughed and cocked her ear closer to the tuft.

The scene grew even more hilarious as she couldn't get her hand free of the mud because she was laughing to hard, but it came out eventually with a '_Ssthok'_.

She grasped the brown grass and pulled. The Doctors head came up.

"O."

That was all he said. Just an exclamation of 'O' as in 'owe'. Then he spat and coughed.

"You alright?" asked Rose, mirth in her voice.

He wobbled up onto his knees. His brown face set her into even further hysterics and when he opened eyes and smiled widely, his eye-whites shone and teeth shone white.

"Oi," he said pointedly, "now that's enough of that."

She couldn't take him seriously whilst he looked like that.

"It's rude to laugh at somebody else's misfortune," he said.

"Right," Rose drawled. "And you _weren't _the one laughing your head off at _me _a second ago."

"Well…" he said rubbing his chin then he changed the subject. "Oh, this stuffs heavy."

He braced himself like the front of his suit weighed him down and proceeded to shake off the mud that slottened his hands.

Rose was in an open mouthed, gleeful state and amused to no end with their situation - that was until a big cake of mud slapped her full in the mouth stopping her joy completely.

The Doctor let out a noise like a chicken being stepped on. His mouth made a funnel and his eyes bugged out.

"I'm sorry," he gasped. The apology rested on the air. It was sincere until the Doctor started laughing breathlessly like an idiot.

Rose hoped he was aware that he'd done something incredibly stupid, and that he was in for it now.

"Look, I'm sorry Rose. A slip of the hand that's all it was. Don't mind me…"

He had that boyish, wide grin on his face and his eyes had crinkled in the corners. He sounded daft, like a headless chicken that'd dug itself a hole and had fallen in it and was still making idiotic noises.

Rose scooped up a handful of goopy, stinky mud. The mud he'd lobbed slipped down her chin. She eyed him seriously.

"Forgive me?" he implored. She bought up the mud. His grinning face fell just like that.

"No," he groaned.

"Yes, my dear Doctor."

Rose painted a big grin on her face and chucked it at him.

_Slap. _It caught him right across the eyes. His mouth made all sorts of funny shapes as he cycled through many sounds of displeasure. Rose giggled and twisted her tongue between her teeth.

"How do you like it yourself?" she said.

"_Ack. _I can't see."

"That's because you've got a load of mud stuck to your face, silly."

The Doctor scraped the mud off. There was a moment of absurdness as they looked at one another as if each had sprouted a flower out of both their ears.

Rose was the one who started first. Her shoulders shook and a smile split her face.

"Hehehe."

The Doctors grin grew big and then they were both off, one chortling and the other giggling incessantly without stop.

"Doctor!"

"Rose!"

"What else can go wrong?" sputtered Rose, "I betcha there's a man eating leech somewhere about in this mud."

"Or a spusmugda," the Doctor burst out. "Likes stinky, muddy places. There's at least one on every planet…"

"Even earth?" Rose queried, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Yep. It spurts out yellow slime balls. You can't get the stink out of your clothes for days. Trust me, I know. Then it explodes as a defensive measure."

Rose chortled. "Well, I hope we don't meet one here," she said.

"Naa, spusmugda's are too big for this place. Too many trees and niggly, pointy branches. They can burst you know, like a pin and a balloon. Pop." He mimicked a balloon bursting with his hands.

Rose reclined in the mud. "Just as well. I don't think I can take much more dirt, but it looks as though there's no avoidin' it."

Looking at each other again, the Doctor his front covered in mud, a piece of grass or other sticking from one nostril and Rose, a black 'mud-tache' decorating her top lip like Hulk Hogan's, made the hysterics catch alight in both of them once more.

Little did they know that there was a plant nearby that let off spores that were the cause of itching epidemics on different planets, only the indigenous were immune.

Supposedly, the pitch and sound waves of laughter or any sort of loud chattering activated their release into the atmosphere.

But, oh well, little did the Doctor and Rose know...

"Doctor. I can't stop itching!"

"Funny that. I can't either! Ah! My back. Quickly Rose. Just there. Yep. That's it! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

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><p>AN I enjoyed writing this immensely. It is currently labelled ONESHOT but I may continue it with a string of events. I really hope you've enjoyed reading! Please review! Thanks.


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